Sunday, 25 September 2016

My bizarre and unforgettable sex experience

 Awkward moment I'd say, is that moment when you feel like opening the bathtub from the bottom to hide beneath it, that moment you feel like disappearing into thin air, bla bla bla...

Well, if you didn't understand that, here is the dictionary definition of 'awkward moment':
Awkward moment is said to be a time or the period a person feels really embarrassed, difficult to deal with, not convenient,  difficult or dangerous for a person to bear or carry...BOOM! That's it...

OK! This was how my own experience went down. Few years ago, I went to my cousin's place in Abuja, you know just for vacation. I was just in JSS1 at that time... and sophisticated readers, we all have what we really thought about sex or baby making in our tender days. Here is mine; I thought babies were made from natural causes or perhaps, God Himself. I also thought sex was a sin even for married couple and that having sex only entails a boy and a girl just laying on the same bed through out the night. LOL...

Well, on that fateful Sunday evening, the amebo in me got activated. I went into my cousin and her husband's bedroom for some silly reasons. It was a bad move, I found out later... just few minutes after getting into their room and was still glancing through some few items and magazines, I heard footsteps and voices which was my cousin's husband whispering dirty and sweet words into her ears plus kissing sounds.

At that point I was like:
But then, I realized I just wasn't supposed to be in there. My adrenaline pumped more than normal. I started asking myself stupid questions like, what was I doing in their bedroom all alone, if I knelt down and started apologizing before they got in, would they forgive me and not see me as a weird person and also not suspect me for trying to steal something from their room or perhaps see me as a weird person bla bla bla...
When they finally got into their room, I discovered I was behind the bathtub's curtain. I really don't know how I got there but I guess is was adrenaline.

However, just before I could finish understanding where I found myself finally, I started hearing moaning sounds plus quirky sounds indicating the movement of their bed.
At this point I really got scared and confused, I really thought they were fighting. I was more confused because I heard some whispers of sweet words from the husband and next they are fighting.

The moaning sound kept increasing however, to the point that I couldn't help but jump right up to know what really was going on. I peeped through the bathroom door... Mehn! I couldn't believe how 'Jackie Chanic' my cousin was with riding... *winks*.

 But before I could finish meditating on what I saw, the husband moaned loudly. It felt like an elephant trumpeting just directly into my ear. They were done...
Just already?
At that point, I was being skeptical about the possibility of any of them coming into the bathroom. But just before I could finish thinking the word 'bathroom', the husband asked my cousin where I was. Mehn! That felt like a blow on my left chest! I started sweating profusely. You could hear the sound of my sweat dropping on the floor of my hiding place; the bathtub. You could say it sounded like the raging sound made by tsunami. 

Although they went on with their discussion, their voices became indistinct; I was off on my island of crazy thoughts. I started thinking about my life and how big or how small my burial would be, should they find out I was in the bathroom the whole time.

Few minutes later, I started hearing footsteps coming towards the bathroom...
Just leave me alone to die!
I really believed that was the day I'd die, honestly. I started doing stupid things like trying to know if there was a way I could open the bathtub from the bottom so as to hide there. 
Adrenaline gave me so many crazy ideas like:
  • Disappear, you never could tell, you might have magical powers
  • Freeze the time, it might work.
  • Hypnotize who ever it is that's coming into the bathroom... 
Well, I didn't know what happened after he opened the door to the bathroom, I just noticed that my sense organs stopped working at that time... LOL
To be continued...

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